Last update for a few days, I'm TIRED.

Obviously not tired of xanga, but just sleepy. I haven't been sleeping right lately.

So glad that everyone liked that post, I just wish I could find the girl who originally wrote it. She is by far my favorite author EVER.

P.S. My autobiography is still up for grabs. :) HAVE AT IT. Just comment this with your e-mail address.

P.P.S. Don't forget to look at the featured site thing, thank you.

You never missed a thing but you missed me there.
Oh, and I just kept thinking, "Am I prepared to pull it out from your trusting stare?"
Now the house is as quiet as a hollow head and I'm bumping into things.
You said, "This is not being as easy that I thought it would,
I'd be cooling down our fire if I thought I could."

And so I walk the web in search of love, but always seem to end up stuck.
I'm finding flaws in everyone.
I've reached the point where all I want is to sleep around in hopes that I will catch back up.
We are parallel lines we’re running in circles. We're never meant to cross.

So little to say, but so much time despite my empty mouth, the words are in my mind.
Please wear the face, the one where you smile because you lighten up my heart when
I start to cry. Forgive me, first love, but I'm tired. I need to get away, to feel again.
Try to understand why, don't get so close to change my mind.
Please wipe that look out of your eyes.
It's bribing me to doubt myself and simply, it's tiring.

This love has dried up and stayed behind and if I stay, I'll be alive then choke
on words that I'd always hide. Excuse me, first love, but we're through.
I need to taste a kiss from someone new.

I've been in love with you all my life, I couldn't even change it if I wanted to.

Can you come back down, you two can ride your bikes and dance and laugh and forget
about such things, as time. Can you come back down, you two can have the night.
You can take her with you, at least I think that's what she'd like.

Is there a worse feeling than not feeling like someone?

I wouldn't change one second of our life together.

Cause you're hoping you're wrong, and everytime he does something that tells you
he's no good, you ignore it. And every time he comes through and surprises you,
he wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself that he's not for you.

But as the story goes, or it is so often told, a new day will arise and all the dance halls
will be full of skeletons that are coming back to life. And on a grassy hill,
the lion will lay down with the lamb and I won't ever be lonely again.

You make my heart sore. You make my heart soar.

And it's not like I can kid myself, that boy loves me in a way that he's not ready to deal with.

I've got a long list of things to say, but I'll leave it at you amaze me.
 

Sorry for posting so much, it has to get annoying.

I posted the application on my featured sites block. I really think you guys should apply, especially if I don't talk to you. It's amazing to find new sites that have exactly what I'm looking for.

I chose Gina because she's one of my good friends and just looks like a December girrrrrl, so neverxletthisgo, there she is in all of her glory. I love everything she posts, she has a way of putting her quotes and pictures together that make them flow so gracefully, kind of like a ballerina on a stage. Not only is she awesome in that way, she gives possibly the best advice ever. She's the coolest 17 year old I know! (Out of like 2,000) GO GINA!

My sleeping patterns need fixed immediately.

I'm waking up at noon and going to bed at 3. I never, evereverever do that! I'm usually a morning person. C'mon, life, STRAIGHTEN OUT! Update. New layout, I seriously just adore it hardcore! <3 :)

Everytime I think of you,
I think of all the ways you could possibly leave me.
Then I think that is selfish,
Because I’m really thinking of all the ways you could leave everyone.
I think only of myself.

I know that sounds morbid, but I think of more than that.
I think of sleeping on a cot next to you,
And meeting your father under the worst circumstances.
Bad times always bring people together,
And by the time you came out of your coma he’s practically my father too.
I’ll play Tegan and Sara, because you hate them,
But it makes you laugh that we disagree about music,
Indirectly, that way, you like them.
Then I’ll play Nirvana to make up for it,
Because I don’t like them, but it makes me laugh.

I’ll give all my time to wondering,
Who left the sky blue village in your eyes,
And decided that a revolver was the best solution?
No one knows if you can hear me, eyes closed for weeks at a time.
Whenever a doctor writes on your chart,
I read it to you so that you know how you are doing.

I never learned to play the guitar,
But I’ll strum the three chords that I can anyway.
I keep thinking you’ll give me the finger for playing so badly,
And we’ll all cry, and holler, and hug you.
Doctors will pat you on the shoulder,
And when nurses change your turban of bandages
You will complain about how drafty hospital gowns are.

When your father isn’t around you’ll ask me why I’m not wearing one,
It would be nice to see my ass once in awhile.

Brand new layout!

And new text at the side, please read and state what you think about what's said. If it's not liked, I'd like to know how I can sugar-coat it a little bit more. D:

Thanks for helping, fraaaaans. :)

EDIT:

I'm now doing featured sites (sites that I absolutely ADORE!)

December: neverxletthisgo

UPDATE 11/28/2009

When I get out. Like out. I'm going on some great Beatnik roadtrip. I don't know with who, yet. Hopefully someone I love. I don't want to go by myself. Not my best friend. We'd fight all the time. Something new. Maybe we'd drive to my perfect school...where everything is taught in fantasical treehouses built by pirates centuries ago. The fall trimester professor has a heaving bosom and a heavy heart. She's never seen without her fringed leather boots, frayed memories of a great show years ago. She writes good poetry about her past abortions and has a weakness for George Clooney. This fall's curriculum includes Stargazing and Summer Kisses. Classes begin according to the sunset, and Maya, the professor, provides cupcakes. As she eloquently puts it, "There's nothing better than that sweet breeze-toes in sand-iced lemonade-sticky tank top-kiss."

The words of our childhood became strangers to us - we couldn't use them in the same way
and so we chose not to use them at all. Life demanded a new language.

I take a ride to the other side cause it feels so nice just to drive and drive and drive.
I'd make amends for the other night if you'd be here with me holding me tight.
Is this the chance when we fly away? Cause I need to know if I'm coming back.
I push and pull just to get what I want. In the end, I should know that you bring it all to me.

The only thing I regret about high school is not being able to do half the things I heard I did.

Hey you teenagers, with all of your broken hearts. I have something to say. Well, aren't you original...? An entire generation of kids who don't belong, constantly crying because something is wrong. Driving around in your brand new car, you listen to your modern music, go ahead and whine along. You're so busy being different you don't realize, you're all singing the same song.

Last week, I had the strangest dream, where everything was exactly how it seemed, where there was never any mystery on who shot John F. Kennedy. It was just a man with something to prove, slightly bored and severely confused. He steadied his rifle with his target in the center, and became famous on that day in November. Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in. And then last night I had that strange dream, where everything was exactly how it seemed, where concerns about the world getting warmer. The people thought they were just being rewarded for treating others as they like to be treated, for obeying stop signs and curing diseases, for mailing letters with the address of the sender. Now we can swim any day in November.

I leave the stars to judge my every move.

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air.