UPDAAAAATE.

They say, when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true.
What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.

Until I decide to take my watch off, I'll still believe that we are just a matter of time.

The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.

I always knew that the perfect guy was out there. I've known since I was a kid and Barbie married Ken. Ken might pretend to like Barbie's best friend to make Barbie jealous, and Barbie might move to Portugal just to see if Ken would follow her, but in the end, they were always together and everything was forgiven. The thing is, the game always ended after Barbie and Ken got together, so I never really knew what would happen once I met the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I figured I'd want the rest of my life to start right away, but I also kind of thought it would be like living in one of those invisible boxes mimes always pretend to be trapped in. People can see you and know some kind of force field surrounds you, but they can't tap into it or break it. Our love would be our mime box.

UPDATE.<3 x 2348943

And maybe I'll sleep at the station because there's nothing to go home to
but an empty fridge and some stale mayonnaise.

And maybe I'll make friends with the guys sleeping under cardboard boxes
and newspapers and we'll discuss what it means to love and to live.

And maybe I'll wander the city, one lost particle in a dust storm
of Mondays, late nights and reports due yesterday.

And maybe I'll get on a plane or a ship and get lost in places I've never been lost in before.

And maybe I'll keep my phone on me in case you call. And tell me there's something to come home to.

Let's play hopscotch in malls.
Let's drive fast with the top down.
Let's turn up the music as loud as it'll go.
Let's put a couch on an island in the middle of the freeway and wave at everyone on
their way to work. Let's hug strangers in parking lots. Let's hand out secret messages
at traffic lights. Let's make lists of all the things that make us smile and tick them off,
one at a time. The world will carry on without you and me when we're gone.

Let it carry on without us, today.

When I look up at night, all the constellations look like you.

You see suns that never were and stare at skies that don't exist.
You listen to songs that were never played and read books that were never written.
And your mind is so beautiful and full. But I'm glad it's not mine.

I have spoken to the rest of the world and we all feel sorry for you.
Because we get to look at you but all you have to look at, is us.

UPDATE. xD

I wrote my autobiography, if you want to read it; just ask and I'll send it to you. It's the best thing I've ever written. Anyways, here is your update!

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

I was addicted to saying things and having them matter to someone.

But love wasn't about sacrifice, and it wasn't abut falling short of someone's expectations.
By definition, love made you better than good enough; it redefined perfection to
include your traits, instead of excluding them.

But sometimes, we just have to be happy with what people can offer us.
Even if it's not what we want, at least it's something. You know?

Whenever you made a choice, especially one you'd be resisting,
it always affected everything else, some in big way, like a tremor beneath your feet,
others in so tiny a shift you hardly noticed a change at all. But it was happening.

I was so cynical, just inconvincible, nobody seemed worth trusting.
But sure enough, just when I'd near given up, you appeared there among the destruction.

The love of your life might not actually be someone with whom you could spend a lifetime with.

You know that feeling?
That feeling when you just want the right thing to fall into the right place,
not only because it's right, but because it will mean that such a thing is still possible?

I want to believe that.

Sometimes I think I am out of my league, and then sometimes I think I can dream.
Sometimes I wish I could be the one fish that you choose out of all in the sea.

I told them all the great things I know about you and there were a lot. I was up there for a while. I didn't tell them everything, though. I left out the complicated stuff, like how it took losing you forever for me to truly find you. And how finding you turned me into someone else entirely. That's not what they came for. People want to hear you were great. Not that were great, but also, sometimes, not so great. They want to know I miss you. Not that while I've been missing you, I've fallen for someone else. It's weird, though. I feel like the only one who would understand this is you. In a way, that makes sense. He was the one person you were yourself around. Of course he'd be that same person for me. Anyway, I left all that out and I kept it simple. I told them I loved you and that's the truth.

Is it really true? Could you save yourself for someone who could love you for you?
So many times we just give it away to someone who you met in a bar,
in the back of a car and for a moment you felt important but not in your heart.

In fairytales, when the mask came off, the handsome prince still loved the girl,
no matter what --and that alone would turn her into a princess.

For some reason, I feel I won't post here pretty quick.

So I'm posting a new update almost every single day.

You could have been Bethany Matthews, Delia Hopkins, Cleopatra-- it wouldn't matter.
And if you'd grown up with a thousand lemon trees in the middle of the desert,
with a cactus instead of a Christmas tree and a pet armadillo... well, then,
I would have gone to law school at Arizona State, I guess.
I would have defended illegal aliens crossing the border.
But we still would have wound up together.
No matter what kind of life I had, you'd be at the end of it.

I think of you just to save myself sometimes.

I know you may roll your eyes at this, but I'm so glad you exist.

And he did something to me that I can't quite explain only with words,
he took me to a new place, he introduced me to myself.

I was paying attention even when I told myself I wasn't.
If his voice hasn't been the melody of my life, it's been the bass line,
so subtle you don't notice it until it's missing.

I'd think she'd think me crazy to hear that I only want to hold her hand for the rest of all my life.

And even though she was sitting in the seat next to him, he felt her in everything,
in the steering wheel, in the gas pedal, in the blinking of his eye, in the clearing of his throat.
Every move he made was about hanging on to her.

When I'm losing my control, the city spins around.
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down.

Like a plane crash that never hits the ground, I fall in love with you.

I'm nose over tail for you.

Are there ever adequate words for this experience?
When you are suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of feeling, a knowing,
when you are drawn to someone in this way? With the strength of the unavoidable?

I promise I will never leave. I want you always constantly.

I don't know, I guess you've been on my mind. I don't know, I guess I think about you all the time.

You know how when you're making a snow angel and you wanna make it perfect,
but you can't cause there's always that hand print when you climb out?
Well with him -- there's no handprint.
 
You're the strangest person I ever met," she said and I said,
"You too." and we decided we'd know each other a long time.

Anyone can slay a dragon ...but try waking up every morning and loving the world all over again.
That's what takes a real hero.

We lay there and looked up at the night sky and she told me about stars called
blue squares and red swirls and I told her I'd never heard of them.
Of course not, she said, the really important stuff they never tell you.
You have to imagine it on your own.

Now as the summer fades, I let you slip away.
You say I'm not your type, but I can make you sway.
It makes you burn to learn; you're not the only one.
I'd let you be if you put down your blazing gun.

You keep me coming back for more and I feel a little better than I did before.

Don't tell me you're sorry because you're not, when I know you're only sorry you got caught.

You can run into my arms. It's okay, don't be alarmed. Come here to me.
There's no distance in between our love. So, go on and let the rain pour.
 
I'll be all you need and more.

I can't compete with a memory. How can I fight with someone that I can't see?

How did I get here with you? I'll never know. I never meant to let it get so personal.

You were like my lover and my best friend all wrapped into one with a ribbon on it.

I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you.

It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back, and you're the one to blame.

It's like you were my favorite drug.
The only problem is that you were using me in a different way that I was using you,
but now that I know that it's not meant to be; you gotta go. I have to wean myself off of you.